Captain Who?
by Doec
Summary: Janeway looses her memory, mindless fluff


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, that's Paramount's job  
  
  
  
WARNING: This is the product of a sleep-deprived Trekkie. Additional characters Kat Doec, Marissa Blake, and T'eyla Minh all return for this fic. When my ficcing buddy and I get around to it we intend to release our compiled fics as our own "Season 8" For further more on this timeline, read "Lifeform" and "The Q and I" Thank you for your time  
  
  
  
Captain Who?  
  
  
  
(darkened Janeway/Chakotay residence. BANG!)  
  
Janeway: Ooh, my head (groans)  
  
Chakotay: Kathryn? You all right?  
  
Janeway: Mmm  
  
Chakotay: (kinda half asleep) 'night  
  
(the next morning, we see from Janeway's POV, opening her eyes, pan around the room frantically, out into normal view. She sits up, gasping for breath)  
  
Janeway: Where am I? What's going on??  
  
Chakotay: What? Kathryn?  
  
Janeway: Who?  
  
Chakotay: (realizes something is seriously wrong) Kathryn, what's wrong? Speak to me  
  
Janeway: Is that my name?  
  
Chakotay: Oh no, please Kathryn. Don't tell me you don't know (holds her by the shoulders, looking into her eyes for a trace of recognition, he only receives a cold blank stare)  
  
Janeway: You know me? I don't know you...  
  
Chakotay: Stay calm, don't panic  
  
Janeway: (nods, trusting him for now) Okay  
  
Chakotay: Kathryn...can you remember anything?  
  
Janeway: (shakes her head, definitely starting to panic) No, its....just.....blank. Can you help me?  
  
Chakotay: I'll try. Its okay. Relax, I won't hurt you. Do you remember me at all?  
  
Janeway: What's your name?  
  
Chakotay: Its Chakotay  
  
Janeway: I...think that sounds familiar (he kisses her hand, sparking another light bulb) Q...Q does that! (excited she remembers something, beams, then excitement turns quickly to uncertainty) What does that mean? Do you know?  
  
Chakotay: Its too complicated, nevermind. (looks a bit jealous that she remembers Q before him, but at least she remembers something) You'll find out about him soon enough.  
  
Janeway: (looking at him curiously) So what's my name? Kathryn what?  
  
Chakotay: *Captain* Kathryn Janeway  
  
Janeway: Captain?? Of what??  
  
Chakotay: This ship, Voyager  
  
Janeway: Voyager... ship.....what do you mean??  
  
Chakotay: Look out there  
  
Janeway: (Looks puzzled, points to the window, he nods. she goes over and has a look. immediately comes away) Oh god, I think I'm going to be sick! (hyperventilating) We're in outer space?? Oh god...I prefer to keep my feet on the ground, thank you very much (a few minutes later, nervousness kind of subsiding. Tries making conversation with him) So...I'm your.....sister?  
  
Chakotay: (laughs) No  
  
Janeway: Girlfriend?  
  
Chakotay: Getting warmer  
  
Janeway: (looks a little uncomfortable, whispers) Lover? (he shakes his head, taps her left hand, she turns pale, her jaw drops) oh my god... (backs away, shakes her head in disbelief)  
  
Chakotay: Shhh, its all right. Don't be frightened  
  
Janeway: I'm not frightened...  
  
Chakotay: you're trembling (Egads! "Empire!")  
  
Janeway: Am I? (sits down in a chair, puts her head between her knees and breathes) This is nothing personal against you, but imagine how you'd feel waking up married to a complete stranger  
  
Chakotay: I'm sorry, Kathryn. (she stands up, he puts his arms around her) I love you  
  
Janeway: (shoves him away) No, I don't even know you. Somebody help me....(looking for something to do. finds her clothes and starts dressing)  
  
Chakotay: Here, let me help you with those (seeing she's having trouble with what to do with her rank pips, she actually lets him help her but one withering look from her made it clear she wasn't going to let him get that friendly with her when she puzzled on what to do with her comm. badge)  
  
Janeway: So...I'm the Captain of this thing? (shrug) How hard can it be?  
  
Chakotay: Hard. Trust me, you can't fake this stuff  
  
Janeway: Oh. So, who's next in command?  
  
Chakotay: That would be me  
  
Janeway: You're kidding (he shakes his head) This'll be a hoot.(sudden change of subject) Anything to eat around here? I'm starved  
  
  
  
(next scene, the mess hall)  
  
Neelix: (approaches the Captain and Commander) Good morning! (sees Janeway shy away, takes a step behind Chakotay) Something wrong, Captain?  
  
Janeway: Um....no, not really. Just....early  
  
Neelix: (gives her her morning dose of sanity-in-a-cup) That oughta help.  
  
Janeway: What's this?  
  
Neelix: Better drink up, we're running out fast  
  
Janeway: (shrugs, takes a long gulp. splutters, spits it out on the floor and on Neelix's clothes) Sorry...Ugh! What's in this??  
  
Neelix: Sorry, Captain  
  
Janeway: I have to sit down (she finds and empty table and tries to gather her thoughts, soon the ship starts coming to life, people start milling around in the mess hall. soon her table is surrounded by people of, from her eyes, every size shape and color all chatting away like they're family)  
  
Doec: Morning, Captain! Got something special for you (slides her a cup of her famous "warp core" mocha [a few drops land on the table, it melts holes into it]) Real deal, too. Not from the replicator  
  
Janeway: What?  
  
Torres: Slowly! She doesn't call it "Warp core" mocha for nothing! If we had that in the antimatter chamber, we'd have no problem getting home!  
  
Janeway: (looks blank) I beg your pardon?  
  
Kim: If you down it too fast, it blows your head off  
  
Janeway: (looks in the mug, slides it away) thanks anyway, I don't drink coffee (all eyes on her like she's got "Eat at Joe's" flashing over her head) What?  
  
Paris: Uh, captain? You practically live off the stuff  
  
Janeway: I do?  
  
T'eyla: Yeah, its practically your life's blood!  
  
Doec: Better drink it anyway, we're running low and its the last natural stuff you'll get for the next couple hundred light-years.  
  
Janeway: Light years?  
  
Kim: yeah, unless you're stockpiling replicator rations  
  
Janeway: Replica-what?  
  
Torres: You forget who she's married to. She can just (snap) whip up whatever she wants whenever  
  
T'eyla: That reminds me, where's he been lately?  
  
Doec: You just miss goofing off with his kid!  
  
T'eyla: I do not!  
  
Kim: You gotta admit, Captain, its a lot quieter around here without your husband.  
  
Janeway: My husband? You mean Chakotay?  
  
Paris: Um, no ma'am. Romeo #2  
  
Janeway: 2??  
  
Torres: Like you don't know! Who can forget tall-dark-and bothersome! Especially not you, of all people  
  
Janeway: Who?? What???  
  
Doec: Q  
  
Janeway: Q....? Oh, Chakotay said something about that, said I'd find out sooner or later. (smiles, totally scaring the crap out of her crew. Kathy-Q doesn't remember her all-powerful playmate? Something's wrong)  
  
T'eyla: Um, Captain? It might not be a good idea to let the Doc see you like this or there'll be a hypospray at your neck and you'll be relieved of duty before you can blink. You know how he gets (Janeway just sits there gawking, completely lost. She doesn't know what it means but she certainly doesn't like the sound of this)  
  
Doec: Hey, Captain. Which way is up? (Janeway points. Kat smiles cheerfully and claps a hand on her shoulder) You're good to go.  
  
Janeway: (smiles, kind of shy liking at her "new friends") Um...that Chakotay guy says I run this thing, but I don't feel up to it today so....everybody just do whatever  
  
Torres: Captain?  
  
Janeway: Hmm?  
  
Paris: Captain, you don't sound like yourself at all, are you sure you're ok?  
  
Janeway: Yeah, fine. Just great (absently brushes her hair out of her face, revealing nasty-looking bruise from where she hit her head)  
  
T'eyla: Wow! Where'd ya get that beauty?!  
  
Janeway: I'm sorry, what?  
  
Paris: That (touches it lightly)  
  
Janeway: Ow! Hey! (shoves him out of his seat)  
  
Torres: (claps and laughs) Nice one, Captain! You show 'im who's boss! (holds up hand for a high-5, Janeway stares blankly)  
  
Kim: Like this (takes one of Janeway's wrists, claps it against B'elanna's hand. Janeway smiles obliviously)  
  
Janeway: So...who are all of you anyway?  
  
Kim: Huh?  
  
Janeway: What are your names? You..."Spot"  
  
Doec: Spot? Captain...(everyone naturally stares at her, her reference is just about as PC as "nigger")  
  
Janeway: Um...is that wrong? I'm sorry I didn't...mean to. Sorry  
  
Doec: (sensing she's sincere) No, its all right. Captain? I know something's wrong.  
  
Janeway: I...uh....(covers her face) I don't know! (her emotional outburst raising a red flag for everyone, Houston we have a problem)  
  
Chakotay: (finally returns) There you are! Everything ok?  
  
Janeway: (like a little kid) I said something bad. I...I...  
  
Chakotay: Kathryn, don't worry. We'll take care of everything. Okay, now everyone I'm sure you've noticed Captain Janeway acting....a little differently. This is because (pause, sympathy) last night she hit her head pretty hard. She's going to be fine, but as of right now she doesn't remember anything. Just try not to confuse her too bad (everyone turns and stares at her)  
  
Torres: (touches her shoulder) Captain? Do you...know us?  
  
Janeway: (shakes her head, staring down into her lap) Nothing...I'm...(barely squeaks it out) scared  
  
Doec: Its okay, Captain. We're here for you, all of us.  
  
Janeway: (sniffles) Really?  
  
Paris: Whatever it takes to get it fixed  
  
Janeway: What is your name anyway? Sorry about earlier  
  
Doec: Kat  
  
Janeway: Hi, I'm Kathryn (smiles)  
  
Doec: And that's Tom, Minh, B'elanna, and Harry  
  
Janeway: (gives them a little wave) Nice meeting you all. And please don't call me "captain", because I'm not. Not anymore anyway. It would be too weird being called that.(looks angry at herself, frustrated. knowing she used to be more than what she's become) Right now I'm just another girl (shrugs)  
  
Chakotay: Now, just remember, don't go off by yourself. Make sure somebody's with her at all times, understand? (they all nod) Other than that, make yourself at home. If someone's free they can show you around  
  
Janeway: Sounds good. (he leans in to kiss her, she backs away. he touches her cheek momentarily and walks off for the Bridge) So....(throws her hands up shoulder-high, plops them down on her knees) Who wants to drag the crazy lady around?  
  
Doec: I have a couple hours free.  
  
Janeway: Great, where to? (they go from one end of the ship to the other, Kathryn marveling at everything she sees from the comm. systems to the turbolift)  
  
Janeway: I can't believe I run all of this. (while at the replicators) Wow...magic. (bright grin)  
  
Doec: Not exactly. I guess we all just take it for granted. We better get you in a different outfit, if they see you in uniform they'll expect you to know what's going on--no offense or anything  
  
Janeway: None taken, good idea (they find her quarters eventually and she comes out in civilian clothes--cream colored shirt, black suspender-slacks and her hair in a tortoise shell barrette) How's this?  
  
Doec: Perfect!  
  
Janeway: 'K. where's that door go to?  
  
Doec: Oh that? (shrug) just the Cargo Bay.  
  
Janeway: Can I see?  
  
Doec: I don't see why not (Cargo Bay 2, lit faintly by its usual soft glow of Borg-green)  
  
Janeway: (shivers) this place gives me the creeps  
  
Computer: Regeneration cycle complete (Seven of Nine wakes up and steps forward Janeway jumps at the computer voice, and again at the tall blonde woman she hadn't noticed until then)  
  
Seven: Captain, is there something you require of me?  
  
Janeway: (intimidated) N-n-no...I don't think so. (small light bulb flickering on) You...you look vaguely familiar (gets right in her face) Yes. Something about numbers....six....Seven...Hansen?  
  
Seven: (gives away her secret by laughing right out) Captain??  
  
Doec: Whoa! What was that??  
  
Seven: (puts her hand over her throat, looking surprised) That tingled  
  
Doec: Don't tell me. The Doctor...did he really?? (she nods) Oh my god! That's great! He fixed your cortical node up for you, that's wonderful! When?  
  
Seven: Just last night, it feels so....strange. Think many will notice?  
  
Doec: I'd hope so! The only time anybody's seen you smile is if you were.....intoxicated  
  
Seven: Yes. Not that it was a frequent occurance by any means.  
  
Doec: Of course not.  
  
Janeway: Let's get out of here, this place is eerie. And I don't even know why.  
  
Doec: Man, I thought even now you'd recognize Borg technology when you see it. I mean you and the Queen are practically sorority sisters from all the times we've run into them! (Seven looks at her questioningly, Kat taps the side of her head and points to the captain)  
  
Janeway: Borg....(trying desperately to remember) You....are Borg?  
  
Seven: I was, but you freed me.  
  
Janeway: I did?  
  
Doec: She's practically your daughter (Seven smiles, faintly blushes)  
  
Janeway: Well...It was nice to meet you. Bye (exits with Kat) So, what do you people do for fun around here? More importantly, what do I do?  
  
Doec: (kind of to herself) Holodeck  
  
Janeway: What's that?  
  
Doec: You'll see!  
  
(they enter Sandrine's, which is in full-swing. Paris finally reprogrammed the pool table back in instead of the piano)  
  
Janeway: Wow...  
  
Paris: (hums the Imperial March loudly, tosses a cue to Janeway) Care to join us? We're just racking up.  
  
Janeway: (manages to catch the cue, looks at it and back at the rest of the players) Excuse me, what?  
  
Doec: This is what you do for fun around here. You're a real hot-shot. Best in the quadrant.  
  
Janeway: You're making that up  
  
Paris: Believe me, she's not making that up.  
  
Janeway: Oh. So what's this again?  
  
Kim: A little game called hand-over-the-replicator-rations  
  
Paris: That's only for you, buddy. You want the break, Capt--Kathryn? (kinda blushes calling her by her first name)  
  
Janeway: I do what with who?  
  
T'eyla: I think you've hung out with Kat too long  
  
Janeway: Oh.  
  
Paris: Your break. (she has no idea what a break is, much less how to do one) Here, I'll do it  
  
Janeway: No! (composes herself) I...I want to do it.  
  
Kim: Here, I'll give you a hand (seeing Janeway fumble around with her "stick", he stands beside her, puts his hands over hers, together they shoot and break up the balls, one goes in)  
  
Janeway: I did it! I got one in! (kind of skips in place and kisses Harry on the cheek)  
  
Kim: (blushes, is all awkward like a teenager) You did good, Kathryn  
  
Janeway: Thanks Harry (smiles, is she flirting?)  
  
Paris: Break it up, settle down there! You're a married woman and he's....he's just Harry!  
  
Janeway: Oh right. But I don't even know who the frell I'm married to, (puts her arm around Harry) Besides, I don't think he minds  
  
T'eyla: (shaking her head) definitely too much time with Kat  
  
Doec: I got it from you!  
  
T'eyla: No you frelling didn't! Oh yeah. (Janeway lightly kisses him again, my god she's turning into Sandrine!) Psst, Kathryn?  
  
Janeway: Yeah?  
  
T'eyla: Better stay away from Harry, he and Kat are kind of an item.  
  
Janeway: Oh. Sorry  
  
Paris: (makes a shot) Easy mistake, you didn't know.  
  
Blake: (comes back from messing with the holograms' photonic lil heads) Hey all, what's doing? Captain, you look...great. Nice civvies.  
  
T'eyla: Ix-nay on the aptain-Cay. She's just one of the girls  
  
Blake: Oh yeah, I heard. I'm sorry to hear you're not well, ma'am.  
  
Janeway: Who says I'm not well? Aside from my lack of memory I never felt better in my life! I don't think anyway. Could be wrong.  
  
(Janeway plays out the game, with less than her usual flair. Which kind of disappointed her since she was informed on her high reputation as resident pool-shark. Tom lets her have some dignity by letting her win)  
  
Paris: Wanna play again? Rematch?  
  
Janeway: No thanks, I'm a little tired. (holographic waiter brings her a cup of coffee) what is everybody's obsessive association with me and...and whatever this is!  
  
Doec: You're kinda thhhppp without it. You go through like 12 cups a day  
  
Janeway: Really.  
  
Doec: Maybe you should start with something lighter. Cappuccino's good for beginners. We'll hit a replicator and get you some.  
  
Janeway: Thanks.  
  
Kim: (he's just sucking up cuz she kissed him!) I'm on it. (comes back a minute later) There ya go  
  
T'eyla: Happy caffinating.  
  
Janeway: (takes a little test sip) Not bad. Sweeter than the other stuff  
  
Paris: That's the idea (she downs the whole cup)  
  
Janeway: (broad grin, very pleasant caffeine buzz, feeling kinda drugged) Thank you.....SO much, Harry (gives him a quick little nuzzle under the chin)  
  
Kim: Um...Kathryn?  
  
Janeway: (pushes him into a chair, sits in his lap) Somehow I'm comfortable here (giggle, Tom recognizes what she said, maybe she has a few marbles left)  
  
Kim: Captain, please! (tries to push her off, feels as odd as he would had his mother been hitting on him)  
  
Janeway: Now, now, Harry. Don't be so upset. Am I that repulsive?  
  
Kim: N-n-no, ma'am, its just I...have never  
  
Janeway: What? Had a woman cuddle you before? Fine, I'll get off. (stands up, looks like he hurt her feelings) Just trying to be friendly  
  
Kim: I'm sorry, uh, Kathryn. Really. It just wouldn't work.  
  
  
  
(that night, Marissa gets a bleep at her door. She and Kat and Minh are all hanging out together since she had her own room. Minh answers it)  
  
T'eyla: (automatically straightens up, Marissa and Kat stand at attention) Oh, Kathryn, its you.  
  
Janeway: I, uh...oh hi everyone. Um...would you mind terribly if I.......(whispers) I can't spend the night with Chakotay, I don't even know him!  
  
Minh: Sure, come on in. (its a slumber party! woo hoo!)  
  
Janeway: What are you guys up to? (sprawls out on the floor with the rest of them, although they knew of her slightly altered mental state, they'd never seen her sprawl on the floor, least of all making buddy-buddy with the "little ones". it was a novel experience for them--now the captain's one of them!)  
  
Doec: (setting up her antique television set) Trying to get this ancient piece of dren to work! (bangs on the top, it turns on) It lives! Bwahahahaha! It lives, I tell you!!!  
  
Janeway: What is that thing?  
  
Blake: Just one of her old toys.  
  
Doec: This is not "just an old toy"! This is a priceless antique 1967 RCA color television set!  
  
T'eyla: Meaning its a broken old toy  
  
Doec: (ignores this, she'll get her back in the morning. turning the knobs, fiddling with it) Tom fixed this up with some data files of some movies and stuff. This should be good.  
  
Blake: Honestly, Kat! If he hadn't married B'Elanna you'd be all over him  
  
Doec: Oh, please. It would be like kissing my brother. Okay, who's up for a classic? Choices are "Arsenic and Old Lace", "Star Wars--Original Trilogy"...  
  
T'eyla: Not that one! Its 8 hours long or more!  
  
Doec: "Wizard of Oz", "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"--how did that get in there?--and...(looks around, evil) "Grease", anyone?  
  
(Hours later they're all lying together in a heap laughing their heads off at absolutely nothing at all, throwing things, just being silly)  
  
Janeway: (fitting in perfectly with the rest, even replicated some pj's, adding to the informality of her presence) This is the best! I love you guys. I bet I hang out with you three a lot, right? (grins at them, basking in her the acceptance of her new friends, revealing a childlike innocense that very few have seen) We've got a lot in common, I bet we do a ton of stuff together.  
  
Blake: Well, no. Not really, you mainly stick with the adults.  
  
Janeway: (smile fades, looks disappointed) Oh. But we're friends, right? (looks hopeful)  
  
Doec: In a way. You tolerate us...sometimes.  
  
Janeway: (looks downright sad) Oh....sorry.  
  
T'eyla: Its okay.  
  
Janeway: Well, who are my friends? I'm...not welcome here, am I?  
  
Doec: Of course you're welcome, this is great. We've been wanting you to come hang with us sometime. So stay put.  
  
Janeway: (smiles) Okay. But who do I usually..."hang" with?  
  
T'eyla: Nobody really. I mean, at social events and things you mainly stick with the senior officers, but you're off by yourself a lot of the rest of the time.  
  
Janeway: (musing like a teenager) Do you think....it could ever be different?  
  
Blake: What do you mean?  
  
Janeway: Well, I don't exactly sound popular. (bleak sigh, disappointed she's not how she thought she'd be) This is probably the first time in months I've done anything other than work.  
  
Doec: That's total dren, Kathryn! This morning we all came and sat with you, remember? And on the holodeck? You just have your responsibilities that don't exactly allow you a lot of free time. Its not your fault, just part of being the captain.  
  
Janeway: Maybe I don't want to be captain anymore, I never have any fun. My god, this must be the first time I've done this, no wonder you were surprised to see me.  
  
T'eyla: Kathe, you have plenty of fun, you're married to Q!  
  
Doec: (her sympathy for her captain is no secret, can't stand to see her like this, puts an arm around Kathryn, who is close to tears) Hey, I've got a great idea. I heard that amnesia sufferers usually take days to recover their memories. You've got the week off, Kathryn. To do whatever you want without any responsibilities at all! Sound good?  
  
Janeway: What do you three do?  
  
Blake: Turn your hair grey. (finds a strand, yanks it out, holds it out for her to see) You think this happens naturally?  
  
Janeway: (laughs) That reminds me, how old am I? You said I stick with the "adults", but I can't be much older than you, can I? (a voice comes out from behind them)  
  
"Voice": She's 53 and a half, next Tuesday (they turn around and there is Q!) I hope I'm not interrupting your little party, Kathy. (sees who she's with) Kathy, what in the world are you doing with them?  
  
Janeway: Where...how.... but....but there was no one there!  
  
Q: (gets right in her face) That's odd, not so much as a glimmer of recognition. Well how do you like that.  
  
Janeway: Who...?  
  
T'eyla: Its Q, Kathryn. Your husband.  
  
Janeway: (shocked, whispers) Husband...  
  
Q: (not noticing that she doesn't have the faintest idea who he is) I just thought I'd drop Angelique off with you.(Kathryn looks to her companions for help with who that might be in reference to, Q continues. Its obvious they've had this conversation before by the way he rattles it off) I know she can get here by herself, she's big girl, but (dropping his usual air and getting down on his knees at Kathryn's level, takes her hand and kisses it) I just couldn't miss a chance to see you. I've missed you, Kathy. (looks in her eyes, she smiles shyly. Has, of course, mentally reverted to being a blushing virgin)  
  
Janeway: Yes...yes, that's...familiar.  
  
Q: (to Kat Minh and Marissa) What did you do to Kathy? (they all shake their heads, back away)  
  
Janeway: They didn't do anything.  
  
Q: Oh. Well, Angelique should be along shortly, I'll see you soon (soft kiss on her lips, she actually lingers a while, he vanishes and she's blushing)  
  
Janeway: Oh wow...(a second later Angelique appeared)  
  
Angelique: Mom, hey, cute pj's. Oh man are they in trouble? (points to Kat, Minh, and Marissa) If this is a bad time--  
  
Janeway: Wha?? No, why? Where did--? (looks around her)  
  
Angelique: You're usually...uh, nevermind. (prattles like a teenager) You all right? You look like you're in about six places at once. I did that one time and it gave me a horrible headache, the joys of my human bloodline I suppose. I wouldn't recommend it personally. How's things with the mortals? (makes herself right at home, lounging lazily in midair)  
  
Janeway: (rubs her eyes, gives her a blank look) I'm sorry, what?  
  
Angelique: Mom? (squats down beside her like Q did) Mommy? What's wrong?  
  
Janeway: (whispers) "Mom"? (nothing more depressing than not knowing your own child) I'm sorry, I...don't remember you. I can't remember anything really. I'm....so sorry.  
  
Angelique: (looks at her childlike mother as though her heart would break, hugs her tightly) You will, believe me. I'll be in my quarters if you want me. (flashes out)  
  
T'eyla: Well, I think its sack-time. Mind if we crash here? My roommate will freak if I come waltzing in this late.  
  
Doec: Seven wouldn't mind, but its a long way down to the Cargo Bay. 'Sides, I'm comfy.  
  
Janeway: (shakes off her guilt, yawns) Yeah, me too. (lays back down on the floor, curls up into a little ball next to the others, almost instantly falling asleep)  
  
Blake: Awww, isn't that adorable? Kat, don't even think about it.  
  
Doec: Think about what? I wasn't doing anything!  
  
Blake: I know, keep it that way.  
  
Doec: I can't help it, its not my fault! Its this goddamn slug inside me!  
  
T'eyla: Sure it is. (makes kissy faces at her, resulting in a pillow catapulted-that's Katapulted-at her head)  
  
Doec: I'll deal with you when I have the energy. 'Night (curls up next to the newest and by far most unlikely addition to their merry gang)  
  
Janeway: Kat?  
  
Doec: Hmm?  
  
Janeway: (kind of half-awake) What was that about? (yawn)  
  
Doec: About what?  
  
Janeway: That its not your fault, all that about don't even think about it?  
  
Doec: Oh, nothing.  
  
Janeway: (opens her eyes, sees a longing expression on Kat's face) What's wrong? I don't understand.  
  
Doec: No, I don't think you could unless you were me.  
  
Janeway: I could try.  
  
Doec: Does the name Doec ring a bell?  
  
Janeway: Doec.....sounds right. Why?  
  
Doec: Well, years and years and years ago, while you were at the Academy, you dated a man named Aicher Doec. I think you were in love, at least he was in love with you, but nothing came of it. Anyway, he had this slug-like creature inside him which would contain all the knowledge and memories of its former hosts. When he died, the creature was put inside me. You see?  
  
Janeway: (blinks, but is surprisingly unfazed, nods) Now you...?  
  
Doec: I'm sorry, and I'm not obsessing. All I've ever wanted is to be your friend.  
  
Janeway: You are.  
  
Doec: Really? (looks incontainably happy) I never chased your proverbial skirt, in fact I outwardly approved of both Chakotay and Q. I just want you to be happy, so you're not alone. Both of them are unbelievably good for you, except Q drives Chakotay nuts, he's scared he'll steal you away from him.  
  
Janeway: I don't see it being a problem. Its okay, I'm not afraid of you.  
  
Doec: Thank you.  
  
Janeway: And I was worried nobody liked me (grins) Would it be okay if I stuck with you three until I get my memory back?  
  
Doec: That would be fine.  
  
Janeway: Are you sleepy yet?  
  
Doec: Not really, you?  
  
Janeway: No. (pause) Tell me about me, I'm dying to hear what I'm like. What we're doing out here.  
  
Doec: Well, about ten years ago you were put on a mission to capture a group of people, but in the process Voyager was dragged out here into the Delta Quadrant. This alone would be enough to freak just about anyone else out completely. But you kept your head and rescued the people you were supposed to be capturing, made them part of your crew. One crew, one family. You've been out here for a decade now, but I just came here about a year or so ago. I was on a ship to find a shortcut home for you, only when we finally did it closed behind us. So I was left alone on your doorstep, so to speak. I was so excited to see humans again, Bajorans, Vulcans, people from my neighborhood. The Doctor says I gave you quite a surprise when you saw the reason your sensors detected two lifesigns, saw what I was (brushes her hair back, showing her spots) Well, you and your ship and crew have gone to hell and back trying to get home, but it hasn't been all bad. Some people almost dread coming back to the Alpha Quadrant. Voyager has become that much of a home to them that they'll be sad to leave. Something tells me part of you feels that way. Of course, this ship is much more than a ship to you, its the special bonding that takes place between a captain and her vessel. (smiles) You even talk to her.  
  
Janeway: Talk? To Voyager?  
  
Doec: Mm-hmm. I think she knows you, she listens to you. Trust me, if we ever do make it back to Earth, Starfleet will find missing bulkheads and wall panels all over the place. They'll have to check B'elanna's bags to make sure she doesn't pocket the warp core.  
  
Janeway: (laughs softly) I can imagine. Must be a similar bond between her and the core.  
  
Doec: Probably.  
  
Janeway: What am I like?  
  
Doec: (looks thoughtful) You're strict, very stubborn, and when you're at the helm--well, people don't call you Kamikaze Kate for nothing.  
  
Janeway: I'm that bad? (looks a little insulted)  
  
Doec: No, not at all. You're strict when you have to be. If we let ourselves forget we were a Starfleet vessel, it would be anarchy. Your stubbornness can be considered a virtue in the right circumstances. And your piloting skills are expert, you just make some of us nervous when you're doing any fancy flying. You're also very kind, merciful, you'd do just about anything within reason to get your crew home safely but if would involve breaching protocol or the Prime Directive, you'd sooner die. In battle you can stare death itself in the face and not be afraid, and you totally kick ass. (Kathryn lies there, drinking this all in, unable to believe this is who she is) And, as you probably noticed, you are a card- carrying caffeine addict like me. You made me put my recipe for "warp core" mocha in the replicator files for when you pull all-night-all-day-all- nighters.  
  
Janeway: No wonder they were all forcing coffee on me.  
  
Doec: Its an excellent way to get on your good side. If someone knows they're in trouble they make sure to grind you up a fresh pot as a peace- offering.  
  
Janeway: Does that work?  
  
Doec: No, but it never hurts to try. Might buy us a few seconds to come up with a better plan.  
  
Janeway: Why do I get the feeling you've tried that before?  
  
Doec: Tried it? I started it!  
  
Janeway: And what sort of ideas does this give you time to come up with?  
  
Doec: Well, for one thing, if you hadn't had any yet that day you'd probably sentence me to death by beheading. With a good long gulp of caffinated goodness, its a good chance that it would improve your mood a little and if it was just right you'd get all goofy like you did on the holodeck.  
  
Janeway: I hope I didn't scare Harry too badly.  
  
Doec: Nah, he's had it coming. He's the most unlucky guy on this ship! He's had umpteen-trillion mishaps with his love life, he's managed to get himself killed twice, and was appointed by you to baby-sit Angelique.  
  
Janeway: What's wrong with baby-sitting Angelique?  
  
Doec: She's a Q, what else is there?  
  
Janeway: Plenty, what's a Q?  
  
Doec: Oh man, oh man, oh man. Where to begin? First of all its a race of omnipotent beings, immortal, "we're better than you" type people. Well, most Q's are pretty quiet, except for a couple who like to stir things up occasionally. Namely your husband, your daughter, his son from his first marriage, and--who am I forgetting?--oh yes, (look of pure evil) You.  
  
Janeway: Me?  
  
Doec: Long before you two ever crossed paths he was at his finest, wreaking havoc on the cosmos, all that good stuff. Then he kinda tamed down, and when a war broke out in the Continuum he figured the best way to end it was to have a child, something no Q had ever done before. And he came directly to you, whom he'd only met once before the previous year.  
  
Janeway: And, she's--?  
  
Doec: No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous! You're not that kind of girl, you couldn't stand him at the time.  
  
Janeway: Oh.  
  
Doec: You did, however, convince him to impregnate his girlfriend. They had a son, and when the kid grew up to be just like his old man, she up and left! But he wasn't single for long, though, if you know what I mean.  
  
Janeway: What could have possibly come over me?  
  
Doec: You managed to get yourself into quite a fix and the only way anyone could rescue you was if they could claim responsibility for you. So Q married you. At first it was just an act, a game. Then the worst fate that could possibly befall either of you happened--you fell in love. For a little while you hated each other for it, it was actually quite entertaining. Kind of like "Look what you've done to me! Stay away from me" "Why?" "Because I love you!"  
  
Janeway: Is he romantic?  
  
Doec: I wouldn't exactly go that far. That's more of Chakotay's field. You and Q are more like two friends who've known each other all their lives who say if they're not married by the time they reach a certain age they'd marry each other. You're quite a couple.  
  
Janeway: I doubt Chakotay is too keen on that.  
  
Doec: That's ancient history, its all good.  
  
Janeway: But I thought you said I couldn't stand Q.  
  
Doec: I did, he grows on you though.  
  
Janeway: I could kind of see, when he was here. I felt something. (sigh) How often do I see him?  
  
Doec: Now and then, whenever he thinks your life is getting too boring.  
  
Janeway: But, we are married, right?  
  
Doec: Yeah, but you kinda put that on back-burner for the time being so you and Chakotay can have a normal life together. You and Q have eternity, you and Chakotay only have another half-century, tops.  
  
Janeway: I see. But he visits from time to time, doesn't he?  
  
Doec: You miss him?  
  
Janeway: (like a school girl accused of "liking a boy") No!  
  
Doec: Ah ha, I think you do!  
  
Janeway: I do not. Absolutely ridiculous!  
  
Doec: You want him to come back?  
  
Janeway: (doesn't want to answer right away) Kinda. I guess.  
  
Doec: So call him  
  
Janeway: Call him?  
  
Doec: If he knows you need him he'll be here in a nanosecond. Just close your eyes, and hook up with him. He knows when you're thinking of him.  
  
Janeway: You think they'll mind? (indicates Minh and Marissa)  
  
Doec: Tell him to be quiet.  
  
Janeway: (having second thoughts) I'd better not, I might get in trouble.  
  
Doec: You don't have to if you don't want to.  
  
Janeway: 'K. Goodnight  
  
Doec: Goodnight.  
  
  
  
(the next day the computer gives them their wakeup call)  
  
Computer: It is 0700 hours. (sound of an air-horn)  
  
Janeway: (sits bolt upright) Report! (looks baffled at her reaction) Did I say that?  
  
Blake: I'm up, I'm up! Cut it out! (throws a shoe at the ceiling, noise stops)  
  
T'eyla: Marissa, you're a dead woman.  
  
Doec: (mumbling in gibberish, stumbles over to the replicator, half-awake) File Doec-alpha-42  
  
Computer: Are you sure you want that?  
  
Doec: Very sure.  
  
Computer: You realize it may be hazerdous to your health  
  
Doec: Bring it on  
  
Computer: You have been warned. (mug materializes)  
  
Doec: (takes a long drink, lets it dribble down her chin as she knocks the whole thing back in one gulp, eyes pop open, wakes up completely) Good morning, sunshine! Computer, music file Doec-23 (AC/DC "Shook Me All Night Long" blasts)  
  
Janeway: What in the world--?  
  
Blake: Turn that noise off! Computer, end music! (it stops)  
  
Janeway: Is this her morning routine?  
  
T'eyla: Ask Seven, Kat sleeps in the cargo bay normally.  
  
(switch to Cargo Bay 2, Seven's regeneration cycle ends, she wakes up and looks around)  
  
Seven: It is...quiet. (turns this thought over in her mind a couple of times) Too quiet. (ponders this for a moment) Computer, play music file Doec-23 (switch back)  
  
Blake: Bet Seven hates it. (switch back to CB2, Seven's grooving out a little at her console, back again) Well, I'm due on the Bridge  
  
Doec and T'eyla: Yeah, us too.  
  
Janeway: Can I come?  
  
T'eyla: I don't see the harm in that. (they all head for the Bridge, they swing through the mess hall on the way, each of them grabbing something portable)  
  
Neelix: Good morning, Captain, can I get you something?  
  
Janeway: (grin) Morning, Kitchen Rat, (drapes herself over the counter) I need a cappuccino right away. I'm dying here.  
  
Neelix: Captain? (T'eyla whispers in Kathryn's ear, she nods)  
  
Janeway: Do it.  
  
Neelix: Yes, ma'am. (produces her request)  
  
Doec: (in the turbolift, they all start laughing their heads off) God, that was great! What must he be thinking??  
  
T'eyla: Probably that we've finally made her go crazy  
  
Janeway: What? I'm that different?  
  
Blake: Oh yeah. I almost hope you stay like this for a while.  
  
Janeway: What? You like me better this way?  
  
Doec: Well, I wouldn't want you to lead an offensive against Unimatrix One like this, but...you're like one of us. This is totally wild!  
  
Janeway: I can't believe this isn't part of my usual routine, I feel like I've known you guys forever.  
  
T'eyla: Yeah, I know what you mean. Man, what are you going to do when you're back to normal?  
  
Janeway: What do you mean?  
  
Doec: Get real, Kathryn. When you're captain again you won't want to hang out with us anymore.  
  
Janeway: Don't be silly, of course I'll want to hang out with you. You guys are the best friends I could possibly hope for. Nothing will be different. I promise.  
  
(they reach the Bridge, everyone but Kathryn takes their station, she just wanders around exploring everything)  
  
Doec: Move it, Tom. Its my turn! I've been waiting forever to do this!  
  
Paris: Okay, I'll just stick around in case you lock us into a course with an astroid belt or something  
  
Doec: Oh ye of little faith. (scrutinizes) And goofy hair! That bit has been driving me crazy for ages! You forehead's too high up for it (messes with it a little, he wards her off)  
  
Chakotay: Kathryn, are you sure you want to--  
  
Janeway: Of course I am. Hiya Harry (waves, grinning, he waves back and tries to disappear) Whoa, that thing looks complicated, Kat. You sure you can fly?  
  
Doec: Of course I'm sure, gimme some credit!  
  
Torres: Better hold onto something, its Kat's first time piloting Voyager.  
  
Janeway: You're driving by yourself??  
  
Doec: Trying to, and you guys aren't making it any easier. (sets their course, locks them at Warp 7) There, that should do it.  
  
Paris: (claps) Your skills are complete, my young apprentice  
  
Torres: (sing-song voice) Mis-quote!  
  
Paris: No way  
  
Seven: Lieutenant Torres is correct. Not only did you pair phrases from two different scenes, they were from two different people. (everyone looks at her funny) Its true.  
  
(meanwhile Kathryn is trying to make conversation with Tuvok)  
  
Janeway: Hi  
  
Tuvok: Captain  
  
Janeway: (leans over the console, watching him push buttons and things) Whatcha doing?  
  
Tuvok: Working  
  
Janeway: Oh. On what?  
  
Tuvok: It would take too long to explain  
  
Janeway: You think I'm stupid?  
  
Tuvok: Of course not. On the contrary, under normal circumstances you have proven yourself to be a capable scientist.  
  
Janeway: And now?  
  
Tuvok: You are still the same person, you are just at a disadvantage of having no recollection of much of anything. You are confused, but you will hopefully be well soon, Captain  
  
Janeway: My name's Kathryn  
  
Tuvok: I know  
  
Janeway: Call me that, I'm not your captain right now. What's your name?  
  
Tuvok: I am Tuvok  
  
Janeway: (studies him a moment, processing this new information) I...know you.  
  
Tuvok: That is correct.  
  
Janeway: I've known you a long time  
  
Tuvok: (surprised as a Vulcan can get) Yes, that's right!  
  
Janeway: (sighs) Its hard not remembering who I am, anything about all this.  
  
Tuvok: I can imagine how frustrating that must be.  
  
Janeway: Do we ever do anything together?  
  
Tuvok: On occasion.  
  
Janeway: Like what?  
  
Tuvok: We talk  
  
Janeway: Ever do anything fun? Games?  
  
Tuvok: I taught you how to play Kal-Toh, after some practice you became a worthy competitor.  
  
Janeway: (sigh) Kal-Toh's boring. It gave me a headache. (again Tuvok looks at her) What?  
  
Tuvok: You're remembering things.  
  
Janeway: Wow, I guess you're right. I wonder how long it will take for the rest to come back.  
  
Tuvok: (looks to either side of them, makes sure no one's watching, gives her a little smile) Get well soon, old friend. (Kathryn goes down exploring the lower level of the Bridge)  
  
Janeway: Where's this go to?  
  
Paris: That's your ready room. Might be something in there that could help jog your memory.  
  
Chakotay: Go on in, couldn't hurt.  
  
Janeway: Okay. (walks in, the doors slide closed behind her, they hear her from outside) Wow, this is so big! This is mine? (she sticks her head out) Hey Minh, everybody, come on in you gotta see this!  
  
Chakotay: (laughs) Is that your new clubhouse?  
  
Blake: Great idea, Commander! (they all join Kathryn in her ready room, switch inside)  
  
Janeway: This is great, I've even got my own replicator thing! This place could use a little redecorating. (clock spin out, back in reveals a huge mess. Basketball hoop over the door, music playing, plates and cups all over, several PADDs scattered around with their various "game plans")  
  
(back on the Bridge)  
  
Chakotay: They've been in there for hours! I better go check on her. (inside the door bleeps)  
  
T'eyla: What's the password?!  
  
Chakotay: (pauses to think, he knows who he's dealing with) Lumberjack?  
  
T'eyla: How did you know? (lets him in)  
  
Chakotay: Lucky guess. Oh....my.....god. What is this mess?? You three, out! (Kat, Minh, and Marissa all leave, Kathryn tries to duck behind them and go too. he grabs her shoulder) You stay.  
  
Janeway: Are you mad?  
  
Chakotay: No...uh, (wades through the mess, starts recycling stuff into the replicator) Just...surprised. You're usually a lot neater with your things.  
  
Janeway: Oh. They were...we were only......They're my.....(sigh, sits on the couch and hangs her head)  
  
Chakotay: Now don't get all upset, its okay. This is just....(tilts her head up, looks into her big anxious eyes, sighs, sits beside her. puts his arm around her. Kathryn lays her head on his shoulder) Are you all right?  
  
Janeway: I'm fine. (pauses) You're warm.  
  
Chakotay: (can't help but laugh at her innocense) Why thank you. (holds her a little tighter, apparently pondering something) If you want to go play with your friends, go ahead.  
  
Janeway: (hops up, is about to leave, turns back) Don't worry, its kind of starting to come back to me, bit by bit.  
  
Chakotay: All right, I see. (takes her by surprise and draws her to him, kisses her on the mouth, she pulls away and clobbers him) What??  
  
Janeway: You skirt-chasing, two faced, uptight, jerk! I never gave you any indication.....I mean, here I am at my most vulnerable hour and all you can think of is how to take advantage of me!  
  
Chakotay: All I did was kiss you!  
  
Janeway: Don't. I don't let strangers kiss me. I know we're married and everything so I'm sorry if this is offensive, but you could try giving us a chance to get to know each other before you decide to play tonsil-hockey with me! I mean, really. Don't come near me if you know what's good for you, tattoo-boy. Out!  
  
Chakotay: But--  
  
Janeway: Out! (points to the doors, he exits like a puppy with its tail between his legs. Relieved that the threat is over, she goes to find the rest)  
  
  
  
(next scene, the mess hall, she's recounting her near-brush with "worse than death")  
  
Blake: So he just comes up and kisses you? Without even getting permission?  
  
Doec: Men are animals. (scowls)  
  
T'eyla: He can't do that to you. Not without facing the consequences....(all four of them smile evilly at each other, they huddle up) Okay, what I think we should do is....(indistinct whispering, occasionally one of them pops their head up to see if anyone's eavesdropping, universal sign of mischief afoot)  
  
(in the cargo bay after their retaliation on Chuckles)  
  
Janeway: (gently rocking back and forth in Kat's hammock) did you see the look on his face?? Bang! (laughs maniacally)  
  
Doec: I know, that was brilliant! I've never seen a sink explode like that before. Kapow! (high fives all around) Excellent work, ladies  
  
Janeway: Vy zank you dah-link (re-fills her cup with warp core mocha)  
  
Blake: Couldn't have done it with out ya, Kathryn!  
  
Janeway: Of course not, I am the captain after all. (they ponder this a second before snickering at the idea)  
  
T'eyla: I, for one, would like to propose a toast, to the newest member of our legion of chaos, Kathryn Janeway. (they all clap)  
  
Janeway: Aw, you're so sweet. Really, you are. (grinning like an idiot) God, I feel funny. Am I supposed to feel this weird, Kat?  
  
Doec: (pops up from behind her in the hammock. Practically cuddling her forbidden love, it doesn't get much better than this!) Not naturally, no. But for someone who downed not one but two cups of my secret weapon in under 45 minutes, I'd say its normal.  
  
Janeway: (soft moan) I—  
  
Doec: (says it with her) want your mommy, yes. That's also a common side effect  
  
T'eyla: Even did it to Seven.  
  
Janeway: I shouldn't have had that second one, I feel sick.  
  
Doec: Well, quit swinging, that should help. Try and sleep it off, it doesn't last more than a couple hours.  
  
Janeway: Okay, goodnight (sigh) We're friends, right?  
  
T'eyla: Definitely  
  
Janeway: Always? (uncomfortable silence falls)  
  
Doec: Sure  
  
T'eyla: Who'da thought you'd end up with us, huh? (change view to show the regeneration alcoves. Seven is sleeping like a baby, pan across to the left to show Marissa in one next to hers)  
  
Blake: You know, this is actually not as uncomfortable as it looks.  
  
Seven: Indeed.  
  
Doec: (looks, shrugs) Not even going to ask (rolls over and goes to sleep)  
  
  
  
(the next day Chakotay enters the Bridge soaking wet)  
  
Paris: Commander? What happened to you??  
  
Chakotay: Don't. Ask.  
  
Torres: (honestly trying not to laugh) Don't worry, I don't think I want to know.  
  
Chakotay: Well, I do!  
  
Torres: I'll send someone to have a look (stifles a giggle [a Klingon giggling? My, my, whatever would Mother say?])  
  
Chakotay: (long drawn-out sigh, counts to ten before he loses it) As you were (this is going to be a looong day!)  
  
  
  
(in the mess hall)  
  
Janeway: That went even better than I thought!  
  
Blake: Tell me about it  
  
Doec: It could make one weep (they silence in mock-solemnity for a moment before letting go again)  
  
Janeway: So, what's next? What-ahem-procedures follow such an event?  
  
T'eyla: Well, first we lie low for a while, sucking up to the capt--uh, you get the idea, and when the time is right we strike again!  
  
Blake: We're really doing them a favor, you know  
  
Janeway: Oh? I hadn't realized this was a charity  
  
Doec: Oh, yes. Without us the only real entertainment would be from Q, and we can't just sit around waiting for him to pay us a visit.  
  
Janeway: Perish the thought.  
  
Blake: Hey, you gotta promise not to snitch.  
  
Janeway: Why would I do that?  
  
Doec: We don't necessarily mean now, but when your memory comes back you'll be a respectable, responsible Starfleet captain. So you gotta swear you won't do anything.  
  
T'eyla: Honor amongst trouble-makers overrules all protocols.  
  
Janeway: Of course. I'd never betray you, you have my word.  
  
T'eyla: Great, now what do you propose we do for an encore?  
  
Blake: How about messing with Harry's head some more?  
  
Doec: Go to it! I saw him heading towards the holodecks again!  
  
Janeway: Excellent! Wish me luck!  
  
  
  
(she gets to the holodecks)  
  
Janeway: Aren't there any other programs in this place? Or is this just a fixation?  
  
Kim: K-Kathryn! Uh, nice of you to stop by. Care for a game?  
  
Janeway: I'd rather not but if you insist. (racks up, on auto-pilot) I mean, you know how lousy I am (takes aim) I mean, you all say I'm the ship's champion (breaks, 3 balls go in)--solids--and I can hardly play up to par with that 6 year old girl. Four ball, side--Its just so humiliating-- seven off the three, far corner--you know? Do you have--three and six, side- -any idea how difficult it is to live up to a reputation that I can't even-- eight ball, corner--live up to? (she notices him staring) What?  
  
Kim: You just...won.  
  
Janeway: Won? Whoa, I did! (laughs) Man! I frelling killed you! I rock! (bats her eyes) I couldn't have done it without you (kisses his cheek)  
  
Kim: I don't know what you mean  
  
Janeway: (attempts to cuddle him again) Sure you do, I was so busy talking to you I didn't even have time to worry about the game and it all just came together. Just go with the flow. (he dodges her) You're mean, you know that? (sits down faces away, he looks at his pool cue, back at her, go back to focussing on Kathryn) I'm just trying to be friendly and—  
  
Kim: Sorry, Captain, this is for your own good (knocks her over the head!)  
  
Janeway: Ow! What's that for?? (yanks it away from him, he's frantically looking for some other "weapon", Sandrine hands him a spray bottle of seltzer and he lets her have it) Hey! What the--(stares at him in disbelief, stalks out)  
  
Torres: (runs into her) Whoa! Excuse me. What happened?  
  
Janeway: Can you do me a favor?  
  
Torres: Name it  
  
Janeway: Next time you see Harry Kim, shove your bat'leth where the sun don't shine!  
  
Torres: Will do. Any special reason?  
  
Janeway: Do you know of a word used to describe an intolerably rude individual?  
  
Torres: Um, not off the top of my head. (Kathryn goes off, B'Elanna taps her badge) Torres to Kim  
  
Kim: Yeah?  
  
Torres: Starfleet, what the hell did you do to the captain???  
  
  
  
(next scene, Janeway's quarters, she's under her sheets hiding from the world. Angelique flashes in)  
  
Angelique: Mom? (lifts up covers) Kathryn...(draws her out) What's wrong? (puts her arm around her)  
  
Janeway: (sniffles) I....d-don't know. I'm so confused, and its giving me a headache  
  
Angelique: (sees their roles are reversed for the time being) Why's that?  
  
Janeway: I don't know what I want. What's going to....to become of me? (wipes eyes on her sleeve)  
  
Angelique: You're going to get through this, things should start clearing up soon.  
  
Janeway: I c-can't be the captain of this ship! And needless to say I'm an unfit mother. I'm so sorry  
  
Angelique: That's nonsense. You're going to be fine. Tell me why you're so upset  
  
Janeway: I know I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, not knowing anything....Q says I'm over 50 but I feel...not. That doesn't make any sense, I know  
  
Angelique: It makes perfect sense  
  
Janeway: So yeah. But I don't know if I want to go back to my life I had before all this happened. What would happen with Minh and Kat and Marissa? At first they were convinced that I wouldn't want to be friends with them anymore after I get better. I sound like I don't even like them much. No wonder they were so surprised when I...(shaky sigh)  
  
Angelique: You do, you just don't show it. (smiles) They may be a pain in the neck for you, but you get a kick out of them, no question about it. Voyager needs you, its not the same without you. You'll see. You want me to get Dad? He might make you feel better. He usually does, either that or he makes it worse in the attempt. But its the thought that counts, right?  
  
Janeway: That sounds familiar. Maybe...could you?  
  
Angelique: Sure thing, just sit tight (looks up, from the expression on her face it looks like she's having a conversation with someone) Okay, he's on his way. (flash and he appears)  
  
Q: Kathy, Angelique told me you've....its true, isn't it? (sits in front of her, strokes her cheek, seeing her kind of flinch from it, blushing) My poor baby (flashes her into his lap, cuddles her)  
  
Janeway: (gazing up at him, lays her head against him cozily) You really....love me? (lower lip trembling despite her disbelieving smile) Like that?  
  
Q: Of course, darling. What can I do for you? Or do you just need some moral support?  
  
Janeway: (feeling warm and tingly, not sure how to process this attraction) I'm glad you're here, Q  
  
Q: Well this is definitely a first! In all my life I have never brought about calmness or any semblance thereof. Even with you.  
  
Janeway: Really?  
  
Q: Yes, really. Usually if you were upset your human creature would be at your side to soothe you, my presence has always been an indicator that "Something very weird is about to happen"  
  
Janeway: (laughs) Oh dear, should I be worried?  
  
Q: No, for once there's no need to sound the red alert. Poor baby (kisses her forehead, tracing her facial features. knowing his boundries. Even he knows better than to move right in for the kill when he's little more than an aquaintance to her)  
  
Janeway: Why is it I feel so at ease with you but Chakotay just makes me nerovus?  
  
Q: Oh really! Chuckles is so uptight he makes everyone nervous. But his heart's in the right place. And I must say, he's got excellent taste in women. Now listen to me, Kathy. As much as you want to stay in Never- never land, soon you'll have to grow up.  
  
Janeway: You call me Kathy (turns this over in her mind, looks at him and smiles) Yes, I remember that! I used to hate it, didn't I?  
  
Q: At first I only called you that because you hated it, but I guess the name stuck, didn't it?  
  
Janeway: (happy sigh, cuddles to him) Tell me more, please?  
  
Q: Not now, you're tired  
  
Janeway: (feels something warm sweep by her, she yawns and her eyes droop) No I'm not  
  
Q: You know when your mind is relaxed its easier to remember things. You need a good..... long....... rest  
  
Janeway: (tries to shake it off but this only causes another warm sleepy wave to wash over her, and more still) Q what are you..(yawns)...please don't put me to ssssllll......(snuggles up in his arms and dozes off)  
  
Angelique: Really, Dad, that was hardly fair. You know she doesn't like it when you do that!  
  
Q: Oh yes she does, she thanks me for it later.  
  
Angelique: But while she's in mid-sentense?? That's not very polite  
  
Q: Its for her own good (watches her sleep soundly) She hasn't gotten enough sleep lately because of all this excitement.  
  
Angelique: You can't let her stay like that  
  
Q: Of course not, I'll wake her soon enough  
  
Angelique: Good (disappears)  
  
Q: Just in about 36 hours (smiles down at his wife, tucks her into bed, kisses her cheek)  
  
(a long long time later she starts to wake up)  
  
Janeway: (yawn) Whoa, man. How long was I out for? (checks the chronometer) A day and a half??? Q! (surprised at the familiarity of her tone, as though she has one reserved only for the all-powerful mischief- maker, which tips her off that she's used it before)  
  
Q: Sleep well, my dear?  
  
Janeway: A little too well. What was that for?  
  
Q: To help you. Now, time to get up! (snaps, she's on her feet and dressed)  
  
Janeway: (looks around her, bewildered) H-help me? How--?  
  
Q: No time for questions, try touring the ship again, that might bring something back  
  
Janeway: You put me to sleep for a day and a half, Q, how is this—  
  
Q: (realizes drastic times call for drastic measures. She couldn't possibly understand in her condition so its time to display some power over her) Shhh (puts a finger over her lips and her ability to speak is removed) Now don't panic, its all right. Promise to be a good girl? (she nods) Trust me, I won't hurt you. Please trust me, Kathy. This is just necessary otherwise you'd be blurting out a thousand questions that quite frankly nobody can answer. (sees the terrified look in her eyes) I'm sorry, Kathy. (takes her hands, touches her face, restores her)  
  
Janeway: How did you do that?? How did you....  
  
Q: That's not important. Now, why don't you take a little walk to clear your mind. (sees the uncertainty in her eyes) I swear that was the first time I've ever used my powers on you, and I'm sorry, truly.  
  
Janeway: (nods) I...understand.  
  
Q: Now get out there and show the world what you're made of! (lightly swats her behind, vanishes and she's outside her room)  
  
(she wanders over the whole ship, studying everything dutifully in hopes of it sparking a memory. Members of her crew pause to watch her occasionally, some closer to her attempt conversation. They all know of her condition so nobody was surprised to see their captain walking around in a semi-daze. She eventually ends up in the mess hall again, Kat Minh and Marissa flag her down to their table)  
  
T'eyla: Something wrong, Kathryn? You look like somebody died  
  
Janeway: I wish I would!  
  
Blake: You don't really mean that. What's wrong?  
  
Janeway: I....I screwed up! I can't remember a damn thing and these people....they all depend on me. I can't let them all down but I've been from one end of this ship to the other and I still can't remember anything. I'm so dead (moans, lays her head on the table. Kat makes so bold as to put her arm around her and give her a little cuddle) Thanks. I am completely depressed. Nothing can help me, I'm hopeless  
  
T'eyla: You are not. Don't get all down on yourself, Kathryn, you can't help it.  
  
Janeway: I know, its just frustrating. (sighs)  
  
Torres: (walks in, sees her shell of a captain berating herself into depression) Hey, maybe this will spark something. (gives her a cup of coffee) You never know.  
  
Janeway: If one more person....(sigh) Fine, I give up (takes it, takes a cautious sip, allows herself time to taste it unlike the first time. Looks thoughtful) I don't believe it. (downs the rest of it, sets it down and leaves)  
  
T'eyla: Hey, what's wrong?? (but its too late, she's gone)  
  
Blake: What did you put in that?? (B'Elanna just shrugs)  
  
  
  
(a few hours later, Kat, Minh and Marissa recieve a surprise summons to Kathryn's ready-room)  
  
Doec: Hey, we were just gonna drop by anyway, we have major plans!  
  
Janeway: What?  
  
Blake: Not here, all we can say now is that it involves Tuvok, his replicator, and a whole lotta potatoes!  
  
Janeway: (laughs) Sounds interesting  
  
T'eyla: (the first to notice she's back in her uniform) Hey, Kathryn, what is this? Halloween? (the rest inevitably notice too, they all look like their dog just died)  
  
Janeway: (sigh, stands up, sits on the edge of her desk) I would have stayed, if I could have. But I just couldn't.  
  
Doec: We understand, Kathryn—(whispers) I mean Captain. (looks at the floor)  
  
Janeway: (looks close to tears herself) I'm sorry. (looks at the three of them, tries to lighten things up) You didn't really like having me like that, did you? (they all look at each other)  
  
Blake: Well...yeah. I think we kind of even forgot it wasn't permenant, it seemed like you were always one of us.  
  
Janeway: (smiles, flattered) Really? (laughs) I...don't know what to say.  
  
T'eyla: Are we going to be in trouble?  
  
Janeway: For what? Things I took part in? No, don't worry. (pause) Thanks...for including me. It really meant a lot to me. And I had a wonderful time, I'll never forget it.  
  
Doec: So, you're not gonna tell on us? Or punish us?  
  
Janeway: Are you deaf? I made a promise and I intend to keep it. Is that clear?  
  
T'eyla: No problem here!  
  
Doec: So...about Tuvok's replicator....?  
  
Janeway: What about it? (looks lost)  
  
Blake: Are you in?  
  
Janeway: You...want me to?  
  
Doec: Well, yeah. We need a lookout. (smiles) Please? That is, if you want to.  
  
Janeway: I....well, um.... oh why not  
  
T'eyla: You mean it? Excellent!  
  
Janeway: If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right. Getting caught is not an option  
  
Doec: Understood  
  
Janeway: Now, lets see your "Am I ever in trouble now" faces, good good (inspecting them) Now, march! (they file out, the doors slide shut behind them)  
  
  
  
1 FIN 


End file.
